The Reflections of a Disillusioned Disciple

A Disillusioned Disciple

This is the age of disillusionment. So many institutions and organizations once held up to respect are now looked upon with cynicism and often-outright skepticism. Government, educational, civic, social and even religious organizations are not held in high esteem that they once were. The erosion of respect and trust has come about by these groups consistently failing to live out their core values; that is, the values and core principles that are the purpose from their existence were forsaken for the sake of their continued existence.

Many of these institutions have forgotten their reason for their existencing. Over and over again the national and local media (who also fall into the boundaries of this discussion) have reported on once stalwart, respected institutions that have fallen due to moral and/or ethical failures. In order to be totally fair, some of these failures are the result of leadership, management or employee/volunteers who acted in either a criminal or an ethically bankrupt manner to cause this loss of respect. The sad part is that often, the leadership of these organizations seeks to cover up these acts, which only complicates and deepens the depth and seriousness of the problem. At the heart of the matter is the loss of integrity caused by the forsaking of the core reasons these institutions exists.

It is for this reason that I find myself a disillusioned disciple. First, let me be specific; I am not disillusioned with God the Father, Jesus the Son or the Holy Spirit! It is out of my deep respect, fear, admiration and love for God that I have become disillusioned! What am I disillusioned with? The state of today’s church as a living organism whose core value is to reproduce disciples of Jesus Christ? Me, we, the church, are not doing this.

I do not put all of the blame just on the Church. No, my disillusionment ultimately rests with me. It is my fault for giving in to the myriad of voices and purposes that have been given for the existence of the church. The church growth movement that says “bigger is better”, therefore, bigger is more spiritual and the only measure of success for a church. Yes, for a long time I bought into that. Yet always in the back of my mind…deep within my heart was the gnawing feeling that there was something missing. I was simply creating church members, making members of an institution, but disciples were not being produced.

The disillusionment begins with me. I gave in. I forgot what I had been taught as a new believer in Jesus. I compromised, made excuses and rationalized away what I know was true. The practices and disciplines that had nurtured me to grow in Christ and bring me to a place of full-time Christian service were given up for curriculum, devotional books and church growth plans. I had become willing to simply read the Bible study of someone else, and not discover what God was saying to me. I focused on new member classes and starting new units and not reproducing disciples. At times I used these disciplines to build the program of the various churches that I served, but making disciples was never the focus of what was being done. Other times I would attempt to begin disciple making ministries, but they never lasted because of the lack of interest by church leadership, both staff and lay leadership.

There lays the problem, making New Testament disciples are not a priority of the church today. Increasing attendance, constructing new buildings, and offerings are all priorities (to the glory of God of course) or as Dallas Willard has said “the ABC’s of the modern church…Attendance, Buildings, Cash! The concept of Christian Education has been reduced to marketing church to the so-called unchurched or the dissatisfied from other churches

It seems the church has redefined the word “disciple” to fit into its marketing plan. The word is now applied to those who have finished a course of study. In my own denomination, a new evangelism program is marketed as a course in church discipleship. If you complete the class work, make the requisite visits and are able to share the outline, getting someone to say the prayer and fill out the card after the outline…then you are a disciple. The goal still being numbers, how many, how much.

The focus on discipleship should not be about how many, but on how deep! Church today is 1000 miles wide and ¼ inch deep…and it continues to “grow” wider and wider without adding any depth so that it continues to get more and more shallow. Most teaching is not about enabling believers to “rightly divide the word of truth,” but to accept teaching from local pastors/bishops without seeing what the Word says to them. Acts 17:11 believers are not wanted, but that mindset is essential for anyone who wants to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

The reflections of mine are not just rants from someone who is unhappy with the church or his place in life. In fact I have a strange sense of peace even thought I am not serving a church in a paying position at this time, nor am I employed outside of substitute teaching. What I do have is a sick feeling that I, and along with me the church, are ignoring a scriptural call for the Body of Christ to be about reproducing disciples. To the extent we need to put everything else in right perspective to this task, has the potential for changing the world…one person at a time.

The reflections and writings that follow are mine as I draw from my own study, what I have observed about the church and readings from people who would agree and disagree with me. This is hard for me to write, because I don’t feel that I have the “credentials” (whatever those really are) to comment on the church. Yet, why not me! I have served churches in various states; both north and south, completed a theological seminary degree and have experienced both the good and the bad in the church. Deep down I feel that something is wrong…and I believe there are others who feel the same way. Those who look at the church today and think, “There is something missing. I can’t put my finger on it, but something is not what it ought to be.” It is my goal in these writing to start to put a finger on it.

The focus must be upon reproduction…reproducing disciples, and reproducing those who can reproduce. The church can no longer afford, financially or spiritually, to invest time and resources on large facilities and multiple programs, but must focus on making “the main thing, the main thing.” The main thing is making disciple…plain and simple. Everything else that we do as the church…worship, education, youth, children, adults, music, administration…all of this must reflect the main thing.

This really began as I was meditating on Matthew 28:19-20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” What is the call for the church, what are Jesus’ words to the church before He ascends to the Father? Grow the institutional church, create religious media personalities, start seminaries, write hymns and songs and start programs? No, He said, “make disciples”! This involves more than saying a prayer, filling out a card or joining an institution. It is about a transformed life that counts for something (Romans 12:1-2).